I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
