so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
