3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
