I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can text with my tongue
I look better un-naked...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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