I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
