physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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