What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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