1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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