girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
