i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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