Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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