He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize