spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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