Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize