please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
