Don't you send me to vm
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
