you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
