i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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