I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
