Whats the glycemic index on semen?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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