did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize