just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
