my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize