I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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