I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
