I hate all girls vehemently.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Duck Duck Cougar?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
