Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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