He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am naked and annoyed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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