I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
