Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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