Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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