I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so let's talk penis.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
