We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
