dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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