Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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