I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My life is pants optional.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
