she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
