I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
