Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize