mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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