My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
