I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
