His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
