i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
