I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your penis caused this!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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