I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You can't special order awesome
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
