Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
