Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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