sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
