I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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