one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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