Little spoons don't ask big questions
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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