What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
