I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
