bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
