judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
