Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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