Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
high people should be assigned attendants
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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