You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You're like the curious george of whores
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
