I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How external is "for external use only"?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
