Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
