Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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