There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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