so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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