Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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